Big tits, bong hits.

I pierced my darling Astrid today. She was the BIGGEST sook in the world and when it was finally done, proceeded to stare at the pretty diamond in her nose like a star struck child. Twas cute. Also pierced a dude today. That was awkward for me, but he is nice. I like kids, HAHAHA!

Slept till 3pm, met up with Carlee, did the piercings, got high and went home.
I also fell over and grazed my knee. Stupid clumsy pants self. >;(
Chilling in bed at the moment, no clothes on. So good ^-^

Tomorrow (or today more like) I am going camping with Brad and Rohan. Excitement :3

Keep those questions coming! x

Advice: The Friend Zone

VIA FORMSRPING:
i like a chick cause she´s different and alternative and its awesome but i think im in the friend zone; what the fuck do i do?
signed, worried


WOW!
This is tough, ha!
Basically, you´re playing the Beta role right now and you don´t like it.
You fell into the Beta role because she didn´t find you sexually and mentally stimulating, sorry, but it´s true. Something you did or said over a period of time made her put you in the ¨brother, gay friend, he has no genitals¨ category. You need to stop cementing that role in your mind and assume the dominant role if you want to pursue her.

I do NOT mean ¨hurr durr I´m the Alpha male with my huge chest and all my bitches¨; no. Just...ugh.

But, to put it simply, most straight women find assertiveness SEXY. They are deeply attracted to a man who knows what he wants, and is not afraid to voice his opinion. Also, stop being the shoulder to cry on. Sure, most of you think that if you let her have a good cry it´s going to lead to hot, emotional pity sex. HAHAAHAHAHA!
If it didn´t happen the first time, or the second, chances are the third, fourth and fifth aren´t going to lead to crazy sex either. The reason is because she will stop viewing you as a man after a while - and you will soon assume the same role as one of her girlfriends - someone to watch girly movies with, cry with, chat on the phone about outfits and prospective dates with, sleep in the same bed but not cuddle, and eat ice cream straight from the container with.

Don´t be someone she uses for emotional satisfaction or convenience, either. ie. Money, car, emotional dumping.

One of the reasons you probably fell into the friend zone is because you were too 'available'.
She would want to do something - and then BAM - there you were 10 minutes later, at her house ready to cater to her every whim.
Instead, show her that you have a busy schedule and that you cannot hang out whenever she is ready. She will notice the fact that you're not around so much - and she will CRAVE your company again.

The old saying ¨nice guys finish last,¨ is pathetic, yet sadly true. It´s not that we avoid nice guys, but we befriend them, haha. So why are we befriending nice guys and not falling in love with them? Somewhere deep down in our brains there is a solenoid that flips a switch on or off as to whether or not a guy is going to get our juices flowing. You don't have to be a total bad boy to arouse a woman but you do need to make sure you make every effort to avoid the dreaded "friend" category when we are setting you up in our mental Rolodex for the first time.
It´s not like we do it on purpose, really. Because in fifteen years when we aren´t as attractive and we´ve swapped our club heals for flats, we´ll probably say: ¨Oh, why didn´t I marry so and so, he was so nice to me!¨

Ever wonder why you see a really HOT ass chick with the ugliest little thing on the planet? Do you ever think ¨what the hell is she doing with him?¨He probably gave her a run for the money and the solenoid in her brain said, "competition, see if you can win!¨
We want to feel like we've mentally met our match. So if you're a nice guy, hold back! Don't be so nice in the beginning of the relationship, you don't have to be a total jackass, either that make us work for your attention. Women are incredibly complicated creatures, 90% of the time we don't know what we want and we change our minds about the same amount of times during the day as men think about sex. So the best way to win us over is to keep us guessing a little bit.

Especially cocky women, like myself (I am guilty of being an arrogant bitch), most of the time they want an even cockier man to waltz in and mess everything up. Kind of imagine if you were working in a high powered Law firm and your boss is a female, right? She has two male personal assistants, both want to fuck her.

Does she take Mr A - Always smartly dressed, at work on time, knows exactly how she likes her coffee and where to make reservations for her on the weekend. He carries her suitcase, always has her notes perfectly in order and her office has never been so immaculate.

or Mr B - His tie isn´t exactly perfect and sometimes he´s late because he´s a little hung over. If she asks him to do something and he doesn´t do it right, instead of apologizing profusely and correcting it, he shrugs it off. Mr B has probably had a dozen warnings and doesn´t take his job too seriously. He makes naughty jokes, rolls his eyes when she is reprimanding him and sometimes (on purpose) makes blatant snide remarks that get her worked up.

What does said woman do? She gives Mr A a promotion and wishes Mr B would throw everything off her desk and do the dirty.






Sorry, but for most women, it´s true!


If you have any more questions to ask, just Formspring me! :)
http://www.formspring.me/MissTrashface


And check out my friend James´ blog, where he answers all of the questions I get from a males perspective!
http://zenfex.blogspot.com/


xx

Advice: First kisses

Someone on Formspring asked me for ¨first kiss advice¨.

First kisses can be one of the most amazing things you can experience. They can leave your head spinning and give you butterflies for days after, or they can be fucking horribly horrendous and something you NEVER want to do again. Then, they can be mediocre to the point where you have to BUILD the attraction.

One rule, never too soon!

You don't want to kiss them too soon for two reasons:

1. You don't want them to think you're more interested in kissing than you are interested in them.
2. You don't want them to think you like them a ton more than they like you, or they'll get scared

If they reciprocate your other physical gestures, such as holding hands, putting your arm around them, etc., then you can kiss them. However, don't kiss them immediately after you hold hands the first time! Do those other things for a few days to let the tension build until they are dying for you to kiss them!

The second biggest way you can blow a first kiss is to wait forever and miss too many opportunities. While it's good to let them wonder when you're going to do it (you want them to know you have confidence and are in control of yourself and the situation), if you wait for weeks and weeks and pass up too many opportunities, they're just going to move on.

First of all your posture should be open and comfortable/relaxed. Sit or stand close to them. Face them. Look at them, not at the ground. Don't cross your arms or lean away; or, instead of "kiss me" you'll be saying "piss off!"
I´m a bad one for this, because generally when I want to kiss someone I look at the ground and cross my arms, because, let´s face it - first kisses are scary as hell to some people. But, ignore me, haha! If you really like someone, just chill the fuck out and try to be comfortable.

People get so worked up on the whole ¨does he/she like me?¨ thing. Sure, if they don´t reciprocate your feelings it´s going to hurt, but when it all boils down to it you can´t make someone like you. I can´t make a boy or girl like me, just like someone can´t make me like them.
It has to be a mutual thing otherwise the other party is going to be think ¨Ewwww, fuck this.¨ and you are going to be left feeling hollow. So; NO FORCING FEELINGS ON OTHERS.
Just be straight up and honest.

Don't rush a kiss. Ever. You don't have to ask permission to kiss, but you will likely sense when it's the right time to lean in. A good way is to maintain eye contact and slowly lean in with your head. If your partner doesn't move away, he or she is ready to be kissed. Above all, don't be nervous. Billions of people have done this before you and billions more will. You can be excited, but don't forget that this is something that will most likely come naturally to you, so take your time and be cool about it.

Go with whatever feels right for you and hopefully the partner reciprocates. If you want to slip your tongue in, then do it - don´t jam it down their throat, just relax! If you want to nibble their lip, run your fingers through their hair, push them against a wall or hold their face with both hands, do it! It can´t always be like the movies, man!

Don´t plan it. Go with the moment. Have good hygiene.




xx

Re: Advice

VIA FORMSPRING: I hear you've started to give advice, re, dating and relationships. I understand you're a socialite but I'm interested in your personal credentials. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What're your areas of expertise? How did this come to be?

Okay, yes, I have started an advice blog - but it doesn´t necessarily revolve around dating and relationships. My personal credentials? Hmm, that´s a tough one to answer because it´s basically marketing/selling a product. That product being myself.
Here we go...

Strengths:
- I have a sound understanding of Body Language and Personality theories.
- I am vain as fuck, so any advice on fashion/hair/makeup from my perspective will earn decent results.
- I have a decent amount of friends and experience in being both very popular and an outcast.
- I´m a rather compassionate person, even though at times I like to act as though I am heartless.
- I am passionate and stand up for what I believe in.
- I love setting challenges for myself, and completing them.

Weaknesses:

- I am an outgoing person, and opinionated, but at times I am quite shy.
- Sometimes I am way too opinionated.
- I never hold grudges when I should.
- I am an evil bitch.





VIA FORMSPRING:
I saw you gave a boy advice on asking a girl out. Can you write that, but for a girl...

Girl! This is easy!
Just be casual, cute and chat to him. You don´t have to go in, eyelashes fluttering and cleavage staring him in the face. Just be nice, establish a mutual interest and make conversation.
90% of boys are simple - he´s either into you or he isn´t and if he can´t fucking decide, then he isn´t worth it.

You need to decide whether you want to hook up with him or be his girlfriend. Any guy around our age will be looking for an easy lay. You need to decide whether you want to be a one night stand, or go home and meet his mum.

Hooking up is one thing almost every female knows how to do, and most of the time we don´t even have to make the effort to do it. ie. You are at a party, everyone is a bit tipsy, and he walks over to start a conversation: You are already half the way there. You just have to go with it, feed off social cues and decide if he seems attracted to you or not.

NOW, if you want a relationship you need to establish a few things.


1. Is he commitment phobic?

Newsflash, who isn´t to some degree? Haha.
Is he known for being a ¨player¨ or constant two week relationships or is the the humble, long term relationship type?

2. Does he have good morals/ideas?
Everyone, in a relationship, needs to establish whether they agree on a certain moral code. There is no point in wanting to date a boy who believes in sex before marriage, and practices it, if you are a strict Christian and have taken a vow of abstinence. If you both don´t agree on those really important issues, than the relationship is moot from the start. No sense in being a Neo-Nazi and dating someone who is Jewish if you both hate each others ideals, if you understand what I am saying?


3. Is he respectful?
Seriously, if he doesn´t treat you the way you want to be treated, then why the heck are you even considering him? Teasing is fun, yes, but the whole Treat ´em Mean, Keep ´em Keen thing is disgusting. Sure, it adds to the thrill of the chase, but do you want to build a decent relationship with someone who chases cheap thrills? Oh, fuck, I wouldn´t.

4. Does he know what makes you tick?
Nobody else can decide that but you, hun. If he gets to you, in a ´oh this is bad, but SO good way´ then yes, he does know what makes you tick. If he excites you in the way most girls know what I am talking about, then the answer to this question would be yes.


5. Is there a mutual attraction?
It doesn´t necessarily mean a magnetic pull that makes you feel like you´re on fire and all you want to do is rip your clothes off and fuck him on the floor, but attraction is NEEDED in relationship.


6. Is he flirting or just being nice?

So many girls ask me this shit. ¨Does he like me or is he just being nice?¨
Sure, flirting/cat and mouse is fun for a while - it´s great. But if you still don´t know after a really long time, ask him straight out. ¨Do you like me?¨
Simple, and so what if he doesn´t or you end up freaking him out? Then you obviously weren´t meant to be with him... o.o



END NOTE:
This stuff may not work for you, it´s just my opinions on things, okay?


Also, my friend James Roberts will be answering all of the questions I get from a males perspective. :)


Till next time! xx

Candy

Can you hear a thing I say, as the tide just sweeps and sways, as the anchors that bind me just rust and decay?

So I am chilling on my couch in a shoulder-padded top, underwear and thigh high stockings. Why? Because I can´t be fucked finding PJ´s and I am a lazy sod. I want to listen to music but I can´t because we have to keep the noise down on week nights and I like music at an ear-splitting volume.

I have been contemplating shaving my head lately. I really, really want to do it but everybody thinks I shouldn´t. One friend went to the point of telling me I would look repulsive and he wouldn´t talk to me anymore. James, you are a shallow prick! :)

I need to get a life/job and stop spending so much time reading and getting drunk; but every time I get think of doing something, I end up toddling off to my room. I pick up a book and listen to Jack off Jill and, in most cases, have a cat-nap. If I am not doing that I am spending whatever money I do get on pointless shit, drinking alcoholic beverages with with friends or writing. Ugh, it sounds good to some but I am starting to get fucking bored. I want a challenge or someone challenging to pull me from this monotonous bullshit cycle. I want someone interesting to sweep me off my feet and give me a run for my money.

I want black coffee and marijuana and Slipknot.

I just can´t choose, can I? Ha.

Stupid steeenky Taylor >;(

I HAD TO TAKE MY RIGHT MONROE OUT!
Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh :´(
But it´s okay! I´m just waiting till the lefty heals and re-doing it!

Thinking about getting my snakebites back. I don´t know >.>

I´m really wanting cuddles and a cup of herbal tea right now.
I´ve turned into such a Mills & Boon addict.
Hopeless romantic >_<

2:45am

Ello ello,

Lastnight was a big one. Lots of alcohol in the cute lil´ hometown of mine called Byron Bay. Whenever I go there on weekends or for shows, it makes me realise how much I actually miss living there.
Walrus.
My night in a nutshell


I got back to Ballina around midnight and then continued my drinking with Carlee in town for a couple of hours. I got home at around 3am, where Bradley and James were listening to sad songs and drinking lots of beer.

I pierced James´ eyebrow on the other side, had some beer and then pierced my upper lip on the right side - giving myself angelbites ^---^
Carlee, James, Brad and myself all ended up in the one bed, talking about who was the stinkiest and how the Broncos should have won. None of us know how football works, nor are we fans, but: GO THE BRONCOS! >_<

James left at about six in the morning, as we were all falling asleep, and Carlee, Brad and myself slept peacefully till around 3pm. I awoke with a pounding headache, new piercing and in boys pajamas. Carlee and I went and got food and lazed around in bed till about 8pm. At 9pm we both met up with the loverrrrly Montana and Julia, to which I pierced Montana´s septum and continued on to meet up with some of her friends. We all sat out the front of Hungry Jacks till around midnight, drinking slushies and talking about Dildos. :|

Now I am in bed, Brad is asleep and Montana is snoozing on the floor. I´m listening to Emmure and have nothing to do. I am considering going to bed sometime soon. Maybbbbbeeeeee o.o?


Angelbites. Not very ouchies or swelly like this time.


Lots of lovey love! x