Advice: The Friend Zone

VIA FORMSRPING:
i like a chick cause she´s different and alternative and its awesome but i think im in the friend zone; what the fuck do i do?
signed, worried


WOW!
This is tough, ha!
Basically, you´re playing the Beta role right now and you don´t like it.
You fell into the Beta role because she didn´t find you sexually and mentally stimulating, sorry, but it´s true. Something you did or said over a period of time made her put you in the ¨brother, gay friend, he has no genitals¨ category. You need to stop cementing that role in your mind and assume the dominant role if you want to pursue her.

I do NOT mean ¨hurr durr I´m the Alpha male with my huge chest and all my bitches¨; no. Just...ugh.

But, to put it simply, most straight women find assertiveness SEXY. They are deeply attracted to a man who knows what he wants, and is not afraid to voice his opinion. Also, stop being the shoulder to cry on. Sure, most of you think that if you let her have a good cry it´s going to lead to hot, emotional pity sex. HAHAAHAHAHA!
If it didn´t happen the first time, or the second, chances are the third, fourth and fifth aren´t going to lead to crazy sex either. The reason is because she will stop viewing you as a man after a while - and you will soon assume the same role as one of her girlfriends - someone to watch girly movies with, cry with, chat on the phone about outfits and prospective dates with, sleep in the same bed but not cuddle, and eat ice cream straight from the container with.

Don´t be someone she uses for emotional satisfaction or convenience, either. ie. Money, car, emotional dumping.

One of the reasons you probably fell into the friend zone is because you were too 'available'.
She would want to do something - and then BAM - there you were 10 minutes later, at her house ready to cater to her every whim.
Instead, show her that you have a busy schedule and that you cannot hang out whenever she is ready. She will notice the fact that you're not around so much - and she will CRAVE your company again.

The old saying ¨nice guys finish last,¨ is pathetic, yet sadly true. It´s not that we avoid nice guys, but we befriend them, haha. So why are we befriending nice guys and not falling in love with them? Somewhere deep down in our brains there is a solenoid that flips a switch on or off as to whether or not a guy is going to get our juices flowing. You don't have to be a total bad boy to arouse a woman but you do need to make sure you make every effort to avoid the dreaded "friend" category when we are setting you up in our mental Rolodex for the first time.
It´s not like we do it on purpose, really. Because in fifteen years when we aren´t as attractive and we´ve swapped our club heals for flats, we´ll probably say: ¨Oh, why didn´t I marry so and so, he was so nice to me!¨

Ever wonder why you see a really HOT ass chick with the ugliest little thing on the planet? Do you ever think ¨what the hell is she doing with him?¨He probably gave her a run for the money and the solenoid in her brain said, "competition, see if you can win!¨
We want to feel like we've mentally met our match. So if you're a nice guy, hold back! Don't be so nice in the beginning of the relationship, you don't have to be a total jackass, either that make us work for your attention. Women are incredibly complicated creatures, 90% of the time we don't know what we want and we change our minds about the same amount of times during the day as men think about sex. So the best way to win us over is to keep us guessing a little bit.

Especially cocky women, like myself (I am guilty of being an arrogant bitch), most of the time they want an even cockier man to waltz in and mess everything up. Kind of imagine if you were working in a high powered Law firm and your boss is a female, right? She has two male personal assistants, both want to fuck her.

Does she take Mr A - Always smartly dressed, at work on time, knows exactly how she likes her coffee and where to make reservations for her on the weekend. He carries her suitcase, always has her notes perfectly in order and her office has never been so immaculate.

or Mr B - His tie isn´t exactly perfect and sometimes he´s late because he´s a little hung over. If she asks him to do something and he doesn´t do it right, instead of apologizing profusely and correcting it, he shrugs it off. Mr B has probably had a dozen warnings and doesn´t take his job too seriously. He makes naughty jokes, rolls his eyes when she is reprimanding him and sometimes (on purpose) makes blatant snide remarks that get her worked up.

What does said woman do? She gives Mr A a promotion and wishes Mr B would throw everything off her desk and do the dirty.






Sorry, but for most women, it´s true!


If you have any more questions to ask, just Formspring me! :)
http://www.formspring.me/MissTrashface


And check out my friend James´ blog, where he answers all of the questions I get from a males perspective!
http://zenfex.blogspot.com/


xx